


The stories we tell ourselves

by kylorenaissance



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-18 18:28:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13687335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylorenaissance/pseuds/kylorenaissance
Summary: Rey and Kylo Ren meet again, sooner than Rey would have liked.





	The stories we tell ourselves

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ArcherHybrid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcherHybrid/gifts).



> I hope you like this gift & Happy (belated) Valentine's Day! Some of it feels like a meditation on my intense "Last Jedi" feelings / my own headcanons for Rey's inner life. This is basically my wish-fulfillment epilogue to TLJ.
> 
> I fulfilled the "Kylo and Rey share their first kiss. It isn’t through their force bond but shared physically" section of the prompts.

There wasn’t really a much of a plan. The plan was to disappear, rebuild, and seek new allies.

“Rest,” General Leia Organa urged Rey. “Your story can wait. For now, we recover, and we escape. Can’t focus on surviving if you’re tired.”

Rey strung up a makeshift hammock using part of her scavenger’s tunic in a hallway of the Millenium Falcon. “Just like home,” she whispered to herself. It might even be more comfortable than her rock ledge bed on Ach-To.

All the bunks were filled with people who needed them more.

Rey stretched out and stared at the metal piping in the Falcon. The cramped and cluttered space reminded her of her AT-AT.

But sleep refused to come.

Sometimes you tell yourself a story so often it becomes your truth. Rey had to be someone. Someone important. Otherwise, what was the point of scratching out another day in the desert graveyard? Surely, she was somebody, and someone would come back for her. 

Some nights like this on Jakku, she would climb to the top of her home, lie down, and look up at the stars.

She remembered closing her eyes, just like this, and allowing herself to imagine.

She knew her parents were out there, trying to make their way back to her. 

Perhaps they had been held captive by pirates, or the shadowy First Order, that ruthless military faction of imperial sympathizers? They were plotting a daring escape now, and would show up as soon as they could talk their way onto a freighter.

Maybe she was the lost heir of a distant system, or the daughter of the legendary Luke Skywalker, or, or the smuggler Han Solo and Princess Leia. Princess Rey had a nice ring to it. 

She could have been the daughter of a Rebel pilot, an Imperial defector. She would follow in their footsteps and fly an X-Wing herself. She had to stay put, or how would they find her again?

Whoever her parents might be, they were alive, and they were looking for her. When they came for her, they would be so proud of her for waiting so long. For never giving up hope. Yes, they had missed out on raising her, but that wasn’t their fault. There would be plenty of time to make up for that.

If you never ask for help, you’ll never be disappointed when it doesn’t arrive.

If you never make friends, you can never be betrayed. If you grow up never relying on anyone, you can be certain you will never need to. 

Such was Rey of Jakku’s philosophy.

There was a comfort in loneliness. But it was the anticipation of an ending that kept Rey going all those years.

All that changed when Rey’s quiet solitude was interrupted by the persistent beeping of a droid.  
And then, being made to confront the truth, that her parents were nobody. No one was coming back for her. She had to make her own destiny, whatever that was.

“I’d never felt so alone.”

Not through all her time on Jakku.

“You’re not alone.”

Rey drifted off to sleep.

She and Ben Solo were back in Snoke’s throne room, fighting back to back as if they were in a dance, fire falling like stars around them. She was perfectly coordinated with him, sensing his next moves before he made them. Soon all Snoke’s guards were dead. This time, she almost hesitated before tossing him the lightsaber, but she did it, anyway. She would always save him.

“You’re really here,” he said.

“What?” But she already knew. They were sharing this dream.

“You rejected me twice. I won’t ask again.”

“You could have stopped the fleet. You could have come back with me.” You could have turned away on Starkiller’s bridge -- was her unspoken thought.

But somehow he could hear her thoughts more clearly here.

“It’s pointless to imagine what I might have done. There’s no going back.”

“I suppose you’ll try to kill me the next time we meet.”

Ben only stared at her with those damn deep brown eyes of his.

Rey jerked awake, punching the air as she fell out of her hammock.

Finn was at her side almost immediately.

He held out a hand to help her to her feet. 

“No break from fighting, not even in dreams.” He smiled sadly. He held out his arms to offer her a hug again.

“Just a nightmare,” Rey said.

“Want some caf? I’ll make some.”

“I’d love that.”

They sat down in a mercifully unoccupied corner of the galley. Finn washed out the cafmaker after carefully removing a young porg that had somehow gotten itself wedged inside.

He shrugged. “Perfectly sanitary.” Rey had seen worse. 

She sipped the caf slowly. It was a little bit too hot. She didn’t want to do this, but it couldn’t be avoided. He would find out eventually.

“I need -- I need to tell you something,” they both started to say at the same time.

“You first,” Finn said.

“No, I want to hear yours. Mine might be long.”

“All right.” Finn looked nervous. “I’ve kind of met someone. She saved my life, and um, she kissed me.”

He smiled a little and lowered his head.

Finn got Rey up to speed on everything that had happened since he woke up from the coma.

“We rode falthiers, and I fought Phasma. We were almost executed by the First Order!” He sighed. “Rose risked her life to save me, and they say she will recover.”

“I’ve missed you so much,” Rey said. “I’ll tell you mine too, but I’m afraid of what you’re going to think.”

“Try me.”

“Well, for starters, Luke Skywalker wasn’t anything like I expected.”

“Our heroes often aren’t.”

Rey told him everything.

“-- and then he begged me to rule the galaxy with him.”

“Wow, Rey. That sounds really scary.”

“You’re not, you’re not mad at me? He hurt you, he killed Han Solo, and I feel so mixed up about him.”

“I don’t think either of us are going to forget that. I’m just glad you got away from him, what is this, the third time now?”

Rey laughed. It had been too long since she’d done that.

“I don’t know. I’ve lost count.”

Finn smiled at her, ruefully.

“So. The rumors are true then.” He paused for dramatic effect. “Kylo Ren really is shredded.”

Rey almost spit out her caf. There were tears in her eyes.

“Yeah, I guess they are.”

“What are you going to do about the connection? If he finds out where we are --. I’m not going to tell anyone, but you should tell Leia. Maybe you can use it to learn what the First Order is planning next.”

“It doesn’t seem to be getting stronger. He can’t sense where I am. With Snoke dead, I thought it would be the end of it. But I could see him when we got on the Falcon. He was kneeling.”

Rey chewed a protein bar, deep in thought.

“I want to find out if there is a way to shut it off or block it out.”

Rey finished her caf quickly. She felt lighter after telling Finn what had happened. She had been worried he might feel betrayed or jealous, but she could only sense concern for her.

The last of the resistance settled on Batuu, an outpost at the edge of Wild Space. The planet was considered to be one of the many places in the Outer Rim where one could hide from the First Order. They did not plan to stay in any place long.

Rey and Kylo met again. She sought him out in battle as the First Order continued their relentless pursuit of the resistance. It was sooner than Rey would have liked. Several months had passed, and they had collected a few allies.

The rebel cells were spread out to ensure their survival. Perhaps out of sentimentality, Rey had remained with the Falcon, and used the time to build herself a new saber.

She might have been happy to never see him again, but that would have been another lie.

The sounds of battle faded as something seemed to click into place. Once again, they breathed together as one.

Blaster fire did not touch them. Rey wasn’t certain if it was she or him who held the blaster bolts in place.

She held her saberstaff perpendicular to the ground, and ignited one green blade, then the other. Kylo nodded once, and drew his saber.

Rey attacked first, bringing one end of the blade toward his face. He pivoted to the left, dodging the blow.

She tried again, and this time he blocked her blow, and shoved her back with the Force.

“Why aren’t you attacking?”

The Supreme Leader of the First Order sounded as surprised as she was. “I can’t.”

He drove the red point of the blade into the dirt, where it sputtered out. Ren knelt before her, looking up. He still held the hilt, forgotten.

“Go ahead, Rey. End this. I know you want to.”

“That -- that would be too easy.”

She shut off her staff. Rey slowly traced the line of the scar she gave him with her fingertip. She cupped his chin in her hand. This probably won’t work, she thought.

Ben closed his eyes.

“Please, Rey.”

The battle raged around them, unnoticed by the two. The surrounding fighters ignored them, too focused on dealing as much destruction as possible.

Rey reached out, and took his hand. She pulled him to his feet. And kissed him. It was awkward, but his lips were so soft. Ben didn’t know what to do with his hands. He had dropped the saber.

Rey would tell herself a new story, over and over again. A story that said it was possible for someone to come back from unspeakable evil. That anyone could be worthy of love. That she was worthy of love.

Love isn’t enough to save someone. Rey and Kylo’s love for eachother wasn’t enough.

Sometimes we can only save ourselves. A nobody could have the Force. Anyone could be Luke Skywalker.

Some stories are true.


End file.
